Shock – A not rubbish listicle feature

51 Things You Only Know If You Were An Original Raver – Sabotage Times.

 

1: A clip like this, brings a big silly grin, and many happy memories.

2: You frequently experience the agony of hearing a loop from a tune back in the day, but you will never ever know the name.

3. You only had Ceefax for comedowns.

4. You know what NASA and ROAR mean.

5. You can’t listen to early Prodigy singles within mentally adding an MC shouting: WHISTLE POSSE! ARE YOU READY? HARDCORE IS IN THE HOUSE! HARDCORE U KNOW THE SCORE!

6. Or a Proustian whiff of Amyl, Vicks and a spliff as big as a baby’s arm.

7. When Underworld, and Goldie announced their Royal Festival Hall gigs you got the tickets, then booked the babysitter.

8. Eclipse and Sunrise aren’t meteorological terms, PEZ and yellow Pez aren’t sweets, Amnesia doesn’t mean memory loss, Fantazia aren’t Disney films, Helter Skelter had nowt to do with The Beatles, Greensleeves isn’t just a song, and Love Doves weren’t birds: though they certainly kept things fluffy.

9. You learnt to mix on Technics.

10. You sold your Technics, and records; and now spend more time on Discogs than is healthy.

11. True Faith is this, not that remix doing the rounds.

12. It’s Goa trance, not Psy Trance.

13. It’s records, not vinlys.

14. You’ve spent Sundays on Facebook arguing whether it’s a 303, 808 or 909 on ‘Energy Flash.’

15: You’ve contributed to the ‘What was the first consciously made House tune’ thread on Facebook, or on a forum.

16: You’ve waited in a car park for the signal.

17: You’ve gotten into a convoy, and gotten that rush of your heart hammering insanely.

18. The mention of the M25 Orbital elicits a knowing grin.

19. Your dentist both loves, and hates you.

20. Hearing ‘Positive Education’ sets you off like a nodding dog.

21. You have a mortgage, possibly even children too, but still want the occasional free pass.

22. You made best friends in the toilet, or car park queues.

23. Spiral Tribe was set up by the filth.

24. Pre Facebook, you wondered what happened to Lennie de Ice.

25. You believe Blapps Posse don’t get the respect they deserve for kick starting the UK breaks and breakbeats scene with this:

26. Posting a rave tune on Throwback Thursday elicits more enthusiastic likes and shares than news of your first born.

27. Long term friends have nicknames like: Disco Dave, Spanner, and Cheeky half Charlie.

28. You told your life story to a complete stranger, while gurning your face off. They got it, and you never saw them again.

29. You’ve been to Warehouse raves in Hackney back when it was a cheap crap hole.

30. You remember when Ibiza was Balearic, cheap, and you’ve got a story about that time with Charlie Chester.

31. You still want a Surburban Base jacket.

32. You have a soft spot for Altern8, and reckon Daft Punk ripped off their mask gimmick from them.

33. Memories of weekends past sound like a lower league results table: Forrest Hill 3, Chessington 2, Lechlade, Castlemorton etc.

34. You love Flowered up – Weekender, for the video.

35. This still brings you out in goosebumps.

36. Scoring was a terrifying business.

37. You remember that time you and your mud splattered friends ended in a field full of scary cows.

38. You used to regularly tune into Kiss when it was a pirate station; back when Colin Dale played NIN and Meat Beat Manifesto.

39. ‘All back to mine’ was pretty much standard.

40. As was: “What’s your name, where you from and what you on?”

41. You felt genuine pride when Roni Size and Reprazent won the Mercury prize.

42. ‘Eberneezer Goode’ on Top of the pops made you happy in a way you can’t really explain.

43. You feel a pang seeing old stomping grounds being turned into luxury flats.

44. The rush hour commute is nothing compared to four in the back of a Mini Metro.

45. Rolls Royce and Mitsubishis aren’t cars, but they certainly took you on a ride.

46. You remember where you were when you found out ‘The theme from S’Express’ went to number 1.

47. You wonder what happened to everyone you met on the dance floor, over the years.

48. You’re secretly very glad you did all this before Facebook.

49. Whatever happened to Cindy Ecstasy is still an unsolved mystery.

50. Happy Hardcore makes you smile and wince.

51. You are now gagging to go out, on the large: one more time.

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